new years resolutions & new habits
I have noticed New Year’s Resolutions are getting a lot of flak in our culture these days. “They are doomed to fail,” or, “It’s too much pressure.” And so, the resolution has fallen out of fashion. I do understand that this sentiment is coming from a place of discouragement, as many resolutions do indeed fail within the first month. The answer is not necessarily to stop reflecting at the New Year and making a resolution for yourself, but instead to learn how to set yourself up for long-term success. See, when we make and start a resolution we are excited, which translates into motivation! I want to be healthy so I am going to go the gym every day! And we do! For a few weeks, but then the excitement, and the motivation, wear off and the habit dies before it takes hold. This is not because trying to create a new healthy habit was a bad idea, but more likely it was because you did not put a system in place to keep your habit going when the motivation faltered. Here I will share with you some tips from behavioral science that will help you start and keep your new habit. These tips can apply to any habit, but I will use starting a new meditation practice as a new habit for an example:
Create a clear statement of what you will do, when, and where: “I will meditate every morning at 6am in my bedroom.”
Connect your new habit to something you already do in your daily routine (this is called “habit stacking”): “My alarm already goes off every morning at 6am and I get out of bed, so when my alarm goes off at 6am I will get out of bed and sit on my meditation cushion in my bedroom.”
Connect your new habit to something you already love to do. “I love to drink coffee, so after I meditate, I get to sit down with a fresh cup of coffee.”
Get clear on why you want to do the new habit. What are the benefits? Then create a statement that you can use as you move into your new habit. You may want to meditate to connect more deeply with yourself. Every time you sit down to meditate, state your intention, “My intention in meditating now is to feel more connected to myself.”
The most important thing in establishing a new habit is frequency! Do it, do it, do it! But no need to overdo it. You can start your new habit in phases and phase 1 can be, “I will meditate every day for 2 minutes.” That’s all! Later, once the habit is established, feel free to move into phase 2 of sitting longer.
Immediately after you do your habit, reward yourself! It could be simply allowing yourself to have a wonderful cup of coffee. Or maybe you mark it off on a calendar and once you get a certain number of marks, you can buy a book by a favorite meditation teacher. The possibilities are endless!
Finally, shift your identify. You are not trying to meditate. You are a meditator!
Enjoy the New Year as a time of reflection and of considering what your heart is wanting more of in your life and go ahead and make a resolution, and then bolster it with a system that will help it stick. Be well!
For further reading on this topic, I recommend Atomic Habits by James Clear